


Building Bridges

by OutOfPracticeYall



Category: Dream Daddy: A Dad Dating Simulator
Genre: Eventual Romance, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Cheating, M/M, Past Relationship(s), Post-Divorce, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-19
Updated: 2018-08-07
Packaged: 2019-01-19 23:05:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12420108
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OutOfPracticeYall/pseuds/OutOfPracticeYall
Summary: The story of how my Dadsona (Garrett Connolly) got together with Joseph, post divorce.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is about my Dadsona, but I other than his name I'm leaving his appearance ambiguous so you can read as your Dadsona too. I'm not sure if I'll be adding any mature content or not, later on. If I am I'll be changing the rating before hand. Hope you guys enjoy the story and feel free to hit me up on my Tumblr.

It happened at church, he’d taken up his usual seat along the far edge of the fourth pew back, (being new to this church he hadn’t wanted to sit near the front at first and this just became his spot) when he heard the familiar noise of children bustling through the doors. He’d thought nothing of it, until Christie had come bounding up the pew, by herself, to greet him. She practically leapt onto the bench and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. “Mr Connolly!”

“Christie!” Garrett gently took hold of her arms pried the child off him. “Where’s your father?”

“He’s coming.” She smiled sweetly, looking like the epitome of innocence. The same look Amanda used to pull when she’d done something she shouldn’t have.

He was about to scold her for running off when Joseph came view behind her with rest of the kids. Christie noticed Garrett glance off and turned to spy her father and call him over to sit them. When the two men locked eyes, Garrett could physically see Joseph pale. They hadn’t really spoken since Amanda’s going away party, since Joseph had chosen his wife and then went on to divorce her anyways. Garrett broke eye contact first and turned his attention to stain glass windows, anything not to look at Joseph.

Perhaps it was by accident, perhaps Joseph did it on purpose, but when he sat, he sat as many of his children between Garrett and himself as he could. The only one he didn’t was Crish, who he was holding in his arms. Garrett was almost glad of it; it gave him room to breathe. But then, when the ceremony started he couldn’t focus on what the preacher was saying as his mind kept coming back to the man sat by him. Apparently, it wasn’t enough room to keep his feelings at bay.

At first glance, Joseph looked like he was doing fine and if one paid no more attention than that, it’d be easy to think being a single parent suited him. Only Garrett was a single parent himself and he was paying Joseph more than a few glances. Joseph didn’t have much in the way of bristle it was blond and few and far between, Garrett noticed it though. Little hairs he'd missed whilst rushing to shave. He noticed the dark skin forming under Joseph’s tired eyes; caught the odd socks, the neglected creases in his shirt, and the stray hairs not conforming to his usual perfected style. The cracks forming on the surface.

And just like that, the yearning came flooding back.

Before Garrett knew it the ceremony was over and missed it entirely. He stood to leave, hoping to get out of the church before he did something stupid when Christie caught his wrist. “We’re going to park! You should come too!”

His heart leapt, he should say no, but Christie was beaming at him and if Garrett was honest with himself, it was an excuse to be with Joseph longer, who his eyes now fell on. The words tumbled out of his mouth before he could think better of them, “If it’s okay with your dad, I’m not busy.”

Garrett fully expected Joseph to say no but then quietly he spoke the words, “I don’t mind.”

The next thing Garrett knew he was in the passenger seat of Joseph’s seven-seater. It was awkward, he didn’t know what to say, where to look or to put his hands, the kids didn’t talk to him the entire ride and neither did Joseph. This had been a terrible idea. Garrett thought he might choke on the tightness building in his chest and wondered if Joseph felt the same. When it had ended between them, they said they’d still be friends, didn't they? Why was this so hard then? 

At the park, it was easier for a while. They had the kids to run after, to push on the swings, to untangle from the jungle-gym, to spin on the roundabout. Until the pair of them became too exhausted to keep up the three of them and sat to rest on the park bench. At least there was Crish there to ease the tension, his gurgling in his father’s lap made the silence bearable.

It came as a shock when Joseph finally broke it. “So, you’ve been well?” 

“Yes, it’s a little quiet around the house now, but I’m okay.” He had to smile at the pitiful attempt at conversation, not that Garrett could comment he was no better. “And you?”

“Hah, well enough.” There was a strain in Joseph’s voice. He was lying, though Garrett already knew that.

“You know,” Garrett paused and chewed his lip as he considered what he was about to say. They were supposed to be friends; it was okay for friends to say this, “Say you’re not doing so well. Hypothetically. It’d be okay to ask for help, I know something about raising kids alone.”

Joseph laughed, it was a weak one like he only laughing to hide something deeper. It made the aching in Garrett’s chest worse. “Is it that obvious?”

He tried to keep up his smile if only to comfort Joseph. “I have a trained eye. You’re not that far gone.”

Finally, Joseph met his gaze again; there was a redness to his eyes that Garrett hadn’t noticed before. “I’ll keep your offer in mind,” He even reached a hand out to give a light squeeze to the one Garret had been resting by his side. “But I’m fine, really.”

There wasn’t much time for any more talk as the kids came running back up to them apparently bored with the park and wanting to go home. On the ride back, Christie questioned if Garrett could come over for baking again, the two men shared an awkward glance but Joseph inevitably gave in to his daughter’s whim and promised to arrange it. 

This was progress. They could be friends. If only Garrett could bury the wanting that resurfaced every time he saw Joseph, sure, they could. 

Once out of the car he made some excuse not to be dragged into the Christiansen home, Garrett had a feeling it wouldn’t be as easy for Joseph to hide the cracks in there and spared him. The kids ran off inside and that left him with just Joseph... And Crish. 

“It was good seeing you again.” Joseph made another poor cliché attempt at conversation whilst wrestling the toddler in his arms. 

“Yeah, it was,” Garrett took one last glance over Joseph and noticed the buttons on his polo were fastened unevenly, another mark of single parenthood. Taking every precaution to make sure your kids were happy and healthy, and leaving yourself a mess. An absentminded smile came to his lips and he reached out, refastened them and smoothed out the fabric without a second’s thought. “We should do it again sometime.”

He hadn’t realised what he’d done until he looked back at Joseph, whose eyes were wide and cheeks were burning. This was too intimate, friends don’t do this and friends don’t let their hands linger against their friend’s chest afterwards. Garrett felt the heat rise to his own cheeks as he retracted his hands again and even took a few steps back. 

“I should get going!” He blurted out and turned away before Joseph could even gather his thoughts. Garrett didn’t stop until he was inside his own house where he proceeded to slump to the ground against his door, holding his head in his hands. This was stupid, he needed to get over these feelings it didn’t feel right pining after a recently divorced man. It wasn’t right to sleep with a married one either, but he couldn’t exactly take that back now.

He wasn’t sure how long he sat there feeling sorry for himself, he only moved when hungry noises from his stomach became unbearable but when he did get up, Garrett realised it was going dark outside. 

Sighing, he moved to the kitchen and resigned himself to spend his Sunday evening comfort eating.


	2. Chapter 2

Evenings were becoming an increasingly dull affair for Garrett without Amanda around, there was only so many times he could watch reruns of reality TV by himself. Still, that didn’t stop him from slumping in his usual nest on the sofa with a bowl of popcorn for the third night in a row. 

He hadn’t heard from Joseph since Sunday and it was now Wednesday and with the way he’d left things that day he wasn’t surprised. Every time his mind idled it wandered back to that moment, the look on Joseph's face and the sheer embarrassment he’d felt at the time. And then the queasiness would come back and the need to bury his head in the sand.

Garrett was three episodes into some ridiculous cookery show- the name of which he couldn’t remember- when he heard the notification ping on Dadbook. A quick check of his watch told him it nearing 10 pm, he presumed it was Craig asking him to come jogging again because he couldn’t think of anyone else who’d message him this late. The last thing he expected when he checked the app was Joseph’s chat box highlighted.

His heart leapt. Garrett couldn’t seem to move, he just sat there staring at his phone as the app pinged again. It was late evening on a Wednesday, what could Joseph possibly want from him? All he’d have to do to find out is open the chat box, just one tap of the finger and yet it felt like an impossible task. Another ping. He couldn’t take it anymore, sucking in a breathe he opened the chat box.

‘Hey, neighbour’ 

So Joseph was keeping it formal then, what happens in the Margarita zone stays in the Margarita zone it would seem.

‘I know it’s late, but I was wondering if your offer was still going’  
‘Joseph’

Garrett's cheeks flushed, Joseph needed help and he was reaching out to him. This was a step forward, right? Towards being friends, that’s what he wanted, or at least that what Garrett told himself he wanted. It was better to be just friends with Joseph than to be nothing to him. He could hardly type against his fingers shaking but he managed a response.

‘I’ll be right over.’

Straightening his clothes and running a hand through his hair, Garrett stood and composed his thoughts. He’d have to go over prepared; this might very well be his last chance to prove he could have a normal relationship with Joseph. To contact him so late in the evening probably meant that the kids were being difficult and wouldn’t go to bed. If that was the situation, he had the perfect fix for it. Garrett grabbed what expert dad supplies he thought he needed for the situation, locked up headed over to Joseph’s.

Swallowing his nerves, Garrett knocked on the door and waited. No response. He knocked again and he waited some more. He couldn’t just try the handle, this wasn’t his home. The nerves started to build again as he fidgeted where he stood, maybe if he pressed his ear to the door he’d hear something.

Before he could, he heard the wailing of a distraught child from inside. Instinct took over, without another thought Garrett threw open the door, his eyes met with nobody but he could hear where the sobs were coming from. A room off to the side of the living room, he’d never been inside but he’d seen Chris stalk off into it the first time he’d been invited to the house.

Throwing open the second door, Garrett met with Christie stood over a sobbing Chris. He didn’t have much time to read the situation before he was scooping the small girl up and planting her back down away from the boy. In her shock, she’d dropped the small teddy bear she’d apparently been holding, which Chris then hugged closely to himself. 

“I didn’t do anything-” Christie started to defend herself, but cut short when she realised it was not her dad’s face she was looking into.

“I don’t care what think you did.” Garrett didn’t shout, but he did put on his most stern father voice. “You’ve upset your brother and now you’re going to say you’re sorry. Then you’re going to leave him alone.”

To his surprise, Christie didn’t try to argue her way out of an apology at least once like Amanda used to, she simply nodded and did as she was told. It was probably the shock of an adult other than her parents telling her what to do. She then joined hands with Christian who had been hidden away in the corner of the room and escaped to the living room.

“She would have argued with me for a whole ten minutes.” Joseph’s voice from behind him had Garrett nearly leaping in shock. The other man deftly moved around him and crouched down to make sure Chris (who had stopped crying with the comfort of his teddy bear) was okay. He offered Garrett a smile, but it quickly faltered, “This isn’t like her.”

“She’s going through a tough time.” His heart ached for all of them, “You all are.”

That last part seemed to shock Joseph, he turned his attention back to Chris and then ushered him to the living room. Not knowing what else to do Garrett followed them. The twins had busied themselves playing with their own toys, while Chris sulked with this teddy on the sofa. Joseph started to say something only the sound of crying rang out again, this time from upstairs. Crish, Garrett suspected. A heavy sigh left Joseph’s lips and turned to head up stairs. “I’ll be right back.”

As if there was some queue Garrett had missed, the twins suddenly started arguing over the right way to play whatever game they playing. 

“Stop that!” He shouted, perhaps a little too loudly if only to be heard over them and Crish's crying, over their voices as all three children’s head’s whirled round to face him. Garrett breathed out and remembered his bag of supplies. “Okay, a show of hands, who here likes hot chocolate?”

Not surprisingly and just as planned all three of them put their hands up. Garrett smiled. He was a genius. “Good. Now, you’re all going to sit quietly and choose a DVD to watch whilst I make it, okay?”

“Okay!” They replied in unison and the three of them gathered around the DVD player. Easy as pie. 

Garrett moved to the kitchen and busied himself making the promised hot chocolates. It too a short moment to located the cups and spoons he needed and then he was all set given he'd brought the ingredients himself. He didn’t even notice the crying had stopped until he heard Joseph’s footsteps on the stairs and then the lump in his throat came back. He tried to ignore it as he poured the hot chocolates.

“It’s a bit late for TV isn’t it?” Joseph asked stepping up next to him, toddler dozing in his arms. He looked frazzled, to say the least. From the bags under his eyes, Garrett guessed he was too tired right now to keep up appearances. 

“Joe, please, the square babysitter is a single parent’s best friend.” Garrett joked, but from the incredulous look Joseph gave him, it was clear he wasn’t ready for such jokes. Sighing he added softly, “Letting them watch a little extra TV because you have your hands full isn’t going to hurt them.”

Joseph chewed his lip as he thought about it and then nodded in defeat. Despite himself, Garrett let his eyes wander to those lips, he even imagined leaning over and kissing them and Joseph kissing him back, he wondered if they were as soft as he remembered. It was the shiver down his spine that snapped him back to reality and he quickly averted his gaze back to his hands putting marshmallows in the hot chocolates. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Joseph pick up the tub of powdered chocolate and examine it, holding Crish in one arm. 

“It’s fine,” Garrett said, quick to spot the worry, “It’s designed for bedtime, it’s all natural and they’ll be asleep in no time.”

Soon the kids were sipping their hot chocolates and watching a nonsensical episode of some awful kid’s show and the house was quiet again. Garrett was about to give himself pat on the back for a job well done, when Crish stirred from his slumber and began crying again, despite Joseph’s rocking and quiet pleas for him to calm down.

“Is he sick?” Garrett asked.

“No, he,” Joseph seemed to choke on his words, as if it hurt to utter them, “He misses his mother.”

Garrett felt like the floor had been taken out from under him, his heart ached for the toddler and for Joseph who’d stood up and started pacing with Crish in his arms, his pleas becoming more desperate. The infant’s wails suddenly became all too reminiscing of Amanda’s own crying for her deceased father. Garrett wracked his mind to remember how he’d dealt with it.

When he finally pulled himself out of thoughts again, Garrett stood and caught Joseph’s arm to stop him pacing. Blood rushed to his cheeks as he thought about what he was going to say, “Look, Joe, there no non-weird way for me to ask this, but do you still have anything of Mary’s around? A shirt, her perfume? Anything like that?”

There seemed to be no end to the amount of times Garrett could make Joseph stare at him like he was a madman yet Joseph yielded, "I might. Hold him for a sec?" He handed the still crying toddler to Garrett and headed off upstairs. Garrett wasn’t sure he whether he was supposed to follow, but the kids were beginning to whine about the noise, so he did.

He hadn’t been upstairs before. The hallway was as normal as any other, but this was Joseph’s hallway, so therefore, it wasn’t. This was a private part of the family home and family he was not; he was the home wrecker, the other man, an intruder. Garrett swallowed hard around the lump in his throat, Crish was still sobbing on his shoulder, the cries grating on his eardrums.

He said a silent prayer of thanks when Joseph finally appeared in the hallway and gestured for Garrett to join him in the nursery. 

“I didn’t know which would be more helpful,” Joseph mumbled holding out both one of Mary’s jumpers and a bottle of perfume. Jackpot, Garrett thought. Gently setting Crish down in his Crib Garrett took hold of the jumper first and folded it over his shoulder, then the perfume and sprayed gingerly on the jumper. It smelled sweet, like most women's perfumes do, not something he really associated with Mary but hopefully, Crish would.

Picking Crish back up, Garrett rested him against the same shoulder the jumper rested on and sure enough, after a few moments rocking the toddler went back to dozing cuddling against the jumper and pulling the fabrics into his tiny fists. Both Garrett and Joseph let out a sigh of relief. 

“How did you know that would work?”

“I used to do the same for Amanda after...” Garrett’s words trailed off as he felt the weight of them. He sucked in a breath and his sorrow with it. “I went to classes, you know, about being a single parent. They helped.”

“You’re terrible at dropping hints, you know that?” Joseph smiled as took the infant and the jumper he clung to and laid him back in the crib to sleep. Garrett felt a heat rise to Joseph looked back at him; there was a tired honestly in his features that made him look vulnerable. The need to hold him made itself present again in the back of his mind. 

But, there was no time to dwell on that thought as Joseph still had to put the rest of his children to bed, who were all feeling the effects of the hot chocolate and complied without a fight when the two men came back downstairs. Garrett waited patiently on the sofa as Joseph saw them each to bed. He had barely managed with one child; how Joseph hadn’t gone completely mad by now he didn’t know.

When Joseph returned back downstairs, Garrett stood awkwardly, he’d done his job and helped with the kids, he should just leave now. But Joseph was right there, the two of them were alone and everything Garrett wanted to tell him was right there on the tip of his tongue threatening to fall out in a jumbled mess. How he felt, how he wanted to start over and how that they might have a chance together now.

Joseph wrung his hands clearly the silence had gone on too long, “I should thank you, for tonight.”

“Anytime.” It was the only word he could muster without breaking. He had to remind himself that Joseph didn’t need this right now, he had his kids to think about they were more important than an ex-lover’s feelings. He took a long breath to calm himself and started towards the door. Just as he was about to open it, Garrett briefly turned back and said, “Good night, Joseph” Despite his heart screaming for him to say more.

"Good night." Joseph quietly responded.

And with that said he left.


	3. Chapter 3

Garrett was getting better at doing the neighbour thing, each morning he went running with Craig, once a week he went with Hugo and Damien to trivia night where he saw Brian and Mat and even tried to go the Coffee spoon’s open mic nights on occasion. And so, he’d decided earlier that morning that he’d do the neighbourly thing and check in on the Christiansen’s household after work. 

Which was why Garrett was now sat in his car, in his own driveway doing anything not to get out, he messed with his hair in the mirror, checked the news on his phone and fiddled around with the junk in the glove box. Exhaling he decided he couldn’t stall any longer (mostly because he’d run out of things to do) and finally got out of the car, locked it and headed over to Joseph’s house. This was a bad idea, he thought to himself, part of him wanted to turn around and run, but he was already at the door.

He knocked and hoped that this time he’d get an answer. A moment of awkward fidgeting passed and Garrett was about ready to leave theorising that maybe they were out, when Joseph opened the door and he looked as if last night had never happened. Clean pressed shirt, hair in place, even the bags under his eyes were fading, Garrett got the feeling last night was the first good night’s sleep he’d gotten in awhile. But that wasn’t what threw Garrett through a loop -Joseph was good a pretending Mary had once said- it was the smile that spread across his lips when he saw him. 

“Garrett and what brings you to my doorstep?” Joseph asked leaning against the door frame. His nonchalant attitude had Garrett questioning whether this was even the same man from the night before.

“I, uhm, wanted to make sure you were all okay after last night.” As he spoke he noticed Joseph’s smile begin to drop. In fact, his whole manner seemed to adopt some semblance of that vulnerability he glimpsed last night. Had Garrett missed some social clue? Were they supposed to just not talk about it?

“Ah, we’re doing better, thanks to you.” The words made Garrett’s cheeks burn, he didn’t deserve such praise. It’s what friends do for friends. He was about to protest it when Joseph continued, “That reminds me, you left this.”

He disappeared into the house for a moment and came back with a book in his hands and presented it to Garrett. It was a small, worn hardback, the original laminated cover had been lost years ago so the cover was just a bare burgundy. With all the commotion that had gone on, Garrett had completely forgotten about bringing it over. He gently pushed it back into Joseph’s hands, trying not outright flinch when their fingertips brushed against each other’s.

“I meant to leave it. They’re bedtime stories.” He watched as Joseph slowly opened the cover a flicked idly through the pages. Garrett was almost embarrassed, he knew there was a coffee stain that had bled through several pages in there and that Amanda had coloured in the black lined pictures when she was younger. “Listen, Joseph, there a lot you miss out on as a single parent and you’re going to start noticing it more and more. There's a lot things you're going to feel like you don't have enough time for. But this sort of thing, tucking them in at night and reading bed time stories, you can make time for. You can be there for.”

There was a mix of emotion that passed through Joseph’s face that Garrett couldn’t quite define. He got the feeling he was overstepping again, getting too personal. He’d done what he’d come over to do, they were doing fine and now he was just making thing uncomfortable again. “I- I’ll leave you to it then.”

“Garrett, wait!” Joseph called after him, even going as far to grab the sleeve of his shirt to make sure he stayed put. That was the second time he’d used his name and it had his heart pounding in his ears. There was a moment of silence between the two men as Joseph struggled to formulate his words. “Would you like to have dinner with us, tonight? It’s the least I can do. It wouldn’t be too much trouble, I’m used to cooking for six anyways.”

Garrett couldn’t imagine what he’d looked like to Joseph in that moment, he knew his mouth was hanging open and his cheeks with burning, he could only hope it was less obvious to the eye then he felt it was. Without really thinking Garrett found himself nodding and the words tumbling out of his mouth, “Sure, but I’ll need to get changed first.”

The next thing he knew he’d agreed to have dinner with the Christiansens and he was in his room throwing off his work shirt and trying to find something presentable to wear. But not too presentable, he couldn’t look like he was reading too much into this situation, it was just dinner. So he had to look good but not so good that it was obvious he was trying, and all this over-thinking was giving him a headache. He threw down the shirts he’d been holding frustration. Why was this so hard? Joseph had seen him stark naked, did it really matter what he wore?

It shouldn’t. He knew it shouldn’t, yet somehow he wanted it too, he wanted Joseph to notice what he wore and that he’d put effort into it. He desperately earned for the attention and the compliments. He wanted to feel that spike in his heartbeat when a lover touches the fabrics of your clothes and tells you how nice they look on you and he wanted it to be Joseph that that told him these things. 

Pressing the palms of his hands to his eyes, Garrett let out a groan desperate to rid himself of these thoughts. At this rate, he’d need a cold shower. He took a few long breaths to calm his mind, grabbed the closest clean shirt to him and set off once again to Joseph’s house.

Joseph had told him to just let him in when he was ready so there was no need to knock this time. As soon as he opened the door he was met by the twins staring at him, hand in hand. They gave him that dull-eyed, placid smile they did whenever they were trying to be scary. It was adorable. 

“We’re so glad you could come.” Spoke in unison, their heads slowly tilting to the side. 

“Wait just a darn tooting second! This house doesn’t have children, you must be-" He made theatrical gasp and fell back against the door, flinging his arm over his face as if to shield himself from the twins. "Ghosts!?" Though he couldn’t see them Garrett could hear the twins attempting to bite back a giggle. He spun around pretended to struggle with the door handle, “I have to leave! It’s too scary for me!”

“No!!” They shot forwards wrapping their arms around Garrett’s carves to weigh down his escape. 

“Don’t go!” Christian pleaded.

“We’re not ghosts, promise!” Christie added.

Garrett tapped his chin and hummed as he pretended to think it over, “Well you swear there’ll be no more scary business then I suppose I can stay.”

They nodded, beaming as they switched their hold to his hands and dragged him into the living room, ensuring he won’t be able to go back on his word. Garrett noted that Crish was playing happily in his playpen but there was no sign Chris or Joseph for that matter. “Where’s your dad, I should tell him I’m here.”

“He’s in the kitchen.” Christie replied and gave a tug on Garrett’s wrist, “Daddy probably heard you shouting, you should play with us instead.”

“I will, once I’ve said hi to your dad.” He reaffirmed, gently pulling his hands-free of the twins, despite the whines they made and walked into the kitchen, where sure enough Joseph was cooking.

It was hard not to reminisce about the first time he was here, it had been so easy standing in the same room as Joseph then, they had gotten along so naturally. Garrett stuffed his hands into his pockets as if he could physically bury the memory in them, “So any life-changing events happen while I was away?”

“Well, my children have apparently turned into ghosts whilst I was in the kitchen.” He grinned, removing the oven mitts from his hands and setting a timer.

“Oh no, it's just the twins that are ghost. Chris and Crish are ghouls. It's a common misconception.” Maybe it was something about the kitchen, maybe it just that Joseph was pretending everything was normal again, but talking to him was getting easier. Garrett could comfortably breathe whilst being in the same room as the other man, at least. 

“Can I get you a drink; if I remember right you take your coffee black?” 

It was a casual question, but Garrett couldn’t help the flutter in his chest that Joseph remembered how he took his coffee, even if it was an easy drink to put to memory. Nodding Garrett sat at the table after Joseph gestured for him to sit down. He wondered whether he should make small talk or not. What was okay for him to ask about? What was and was too personal for a divorcee and widower who were ex-lovers to talk about? 

He decided to just go for it and ask Joseph about something that had been on his mind since he caught word of the divorce. If he screwed things up he could always just run away again. “So, where is Mary?”

Joseph had been stirring the coffee, the moment Garrett asked the question he stopped. His shoulders slumped with a heavy sign and though he didn’t look at Garrett he quietly answered, “She’s in rehab. That’s why she hasn’t been back to see the kids, according to her councillors she has to earn the right to visitors. She’s allowed phone calls though.”

“What do the kids know?” 

“That they’ll see her soon and that she’s trying to get better.” He brought the drinks to the table and sat opposite Garrett rubbing his brow. “They think she’s going to come home by the end of it, I tried explaining it but they won’t listen.” 

He couldn’t find words adequate enough to express his sympathy. Amanda had been barely more than a babe when Alex passed away, it was easier at first to tell her that her daddy was an Angel watching over them until she learned what that actually meant. Still, that was completely different from Joseph’s situation, he couldn’t imagine what it was like to have the children’s mother right there and have to tell them, no, you can’t see her. “I’m sure they’ll understand with time.”

Josephs lips twitched, his expression was almost bitter but he pushed it aside, “I should check on Crish.”

Or in other words, end of the conversation. Garrett wasn’t sure if this counted as progress, he sat at the table staring at the nautical themed decorations on the wall and sipping his coffee. Joseph had invited him around, had opened up somewhat to him that showed some level of trust on his part. But there was still the issue of the way Garrett felt about him, it seemed it would never subside. In his forties and lovesick, it was embarrassing. 

It wasn’t long before the twins noticed his absence and dragged him back into the living room. Joseph sat with Crish on his knee and Chris had joined the room too, playing on a handheld game console. The twins wanted Garrett to join them on the floor, which killed his dad knees, and judge who could make the scariest misshapen monster out of logos. They all just looked like ill-coloured blobs to him but he played along.

Eventually, the timer went off and Joseph retreated to the kitchen to finish dinner, Garrett asked if he could be of help, but he was quickly shut down. You don’t make your guests help, he was told. Apparently, you could have your guests hold toddlers though as Crish was passed off to him. The toddled bounced happily in his arms and tried to relentlessly to swipe the glasses off his face.

Not long after, Joseph called everyone into to sit at the table whilst he served. Naturally, Joseph sat the head of the table, Garrett to his right and Crish to his left in his highchair. Chris sat at the opposite end of the table and the twins took up the remaining chairs.

“Do you mind if we say grace?” Joseph asked, his hand ready reaching out to him inviting him to take it.

“Yeah sure,” Garrett replied, it wasn’t that big of a deal, he said grace all the time, even if it alone and over take away pizza most nights. Still, his heart pounded so hard in his chest when he took Joseph’s hand he was afraid that they could all hear it. As Joseph led them in a prayer, all Garrett could think about was the warmth and weight Joseph’s hand against his own. He should have been listening to the prayer, saying his own silence thanks but Joseph was holding his hand and it was everything.


	4. Chapter 4

It seemed that despite how little Joseph had actually opened up to Garrett that evening, it was the key the door back into his life. The following day Christie had begged her father to let Garrett come over again. At first he’d been nervous to go round, but with the children there to fill the initial silences it was actually fun and the conversations were relatively easy as long as they didn’t touch on anything too serious.

He asked how the youth group was going and about what activities were going on with the church- which Joseph was all too happy to talk about- and if he had any plans with the kids over the weekend. Joseph admitted he didn’t really, other than church and then the park on Sunday, and even said Garrett was welcome to come along again. Saying no to Joseph had and felt like it always would be near impossible to do and so he said yes.

Whenever the conversations fell to Garrett’s life he tried to steer them away, after all, he didn’t think that he had much of one. His days mostly consisted of his morning exercise, work and waiting for Amanda to call him every two days to check-in. Of course, there was trivia night but one had to be here to really appreciate hearing about it.

Then all too quickly he was at home and alone again. The last time his home felt this empty to him was after Alex had passed away and his parents had taken Amada for the weekend. To give him a break, they said, only it drove him crazy being away from her and within the hour he was crying on their doorstep for her back. It didn’t matter how many lights he turned on it felt dark and no matter how loud he set the TV it felt quiet.

Garrett flopped onto the sofa in contempt for his baron surroundings. Sunday wasn’t so far away and he had his phone calls with Amanda to look forward to in between then and now. He could survive, he told himself.

***

Sunday finally rolled around at a pace far too slow for Garrett to bear. That morning Garrett had awoken with far more chipper in his step than any previous Sunday. Usually, he was sore from a week’s worth of exercise but it didn’t seem to bother him today. He put far more effort into his appearance than he cared to admit, he told himself it was for God and not for Joseph.

They had texted the day before and agreed that carpooling would be more practical than arriving separately at the church. That way Garrett could keep the kids in check whilst Joseph drove. 

He fretted about the kitchen waiting for Joseph to text him to come over. A top the counter stood a wicker picnic basket. Earlier he’d thought it would be a good idea to pack everyone sandwiches and juice for at the park, now he wondered whether it was too much. Perhaps if he moved the food into a Tupperware box and took out the blanket it would be less embarrassing.

But it was too late, as the thought popped into his head, his phone buzzed. He contemplated leaving the basket altogether before throwing caution to the wind and taking it out the door with him. 

Joseph already had the kids in the car and was waiting in the driver’s seat by Garrett’s driveway. Garrett could tell he’d already spotted the basket from the curious smile the spread to his lips. 

“What’s in the basket?” He asked as Garret climbed into the passenger’s seat.

“What’s park outing without a picnic lunch?” As he responded he tried not to look directly at Joseph already feeling the heat rising to his cheeks. 

Thankfully, for Garrett, that was the end of Joseph’s inquiries and they set off for the church. The sermon was short and not one that Garrett could be committing to memory, he’d been to so many that they all blurred together. But it was also because Joseph actually sat next to him this time whilst the children sat either side of them, and Crish bundled up in his arms. He was so close; the warmth coming off him had Garrett’s hairs standing on end.

When it came time to join hands and bow their head in prayer, Joseph couldn’t get both his hand free from the toddler. After a moment of wrestling the toddler, he managed to free his hand closest to Garrett and quite unexpectedly held it out to him.

“Share a prayer with me?” He whispered.

It was such an insignificant gesture, holding hands. It had never really bothered him before, but for reasons beyond his understanding, it made him giddy and queasy to hold Joseph’s hand for the second time. He had to wonder as he sat with his eyes closed listening to Joseph’s steady and calm breathing, whether the other man felt the same way. If trying to be just friends was as hard and confusing to him as well. Or whether everything they were to each other and could have been had ended that morning he’d walked away from Joseph’s yacht. Had it all just been a passing fantasy to Joseph that he’d played out on the sea far away from any consequences and was done with? 

Everything suddenly felt dull as he considered these thoughts, the physical contact didn’t inspire his heart to race anymore; Garrett couldn’t have said Amen and pulled away faster. Perhaps the guilt was God’s way of telling him that he doesn’t get to run off and have his happy ending with the man whose marriage he’d ruined. That those sorts of fantasies don’t belong in his prayers. 

The twins dragged the two men out from the church with such force you’d think they would die if they didn’t get to the park soon. As Garrett got back in the car the picnic basket looked stupid to him, he wanted to throw it out the window as they drove and watch it crash to ground. He sat there grinding his teeth as he let his sour mood continue to grow. Nobody else in the car seemed to notice and why would they? He was just their neighbour, barely even a friend. Joseph probably invited him out of pity.

Once at the park, they found a place to sit in the field by some shade, laid out the blanket and decided on eating first. The kids collectively approved of Garrett’s picnic choices, not he could see why; the food might as well of been ash in his mouth. It was a battle to swallow it around the lump in his throat. It wasn’t long before they ran off to the swings and jungle gym, despite Joseph’s protests that they had to let their stomachs settle.

When the two of them were alone (not counting the toddler gurgling in his car chair) Joseph nudged Garrett’s side, “You’re awfully quiet.”

“Am I? Hadn’t noticed.” He leant back on his hands to better watch the children playing and not have to look at the other man. He could feel Joseph’s gaze on him, angling for eye contact that Garrett just wasn't strong enough to give. He couldn’t, not without something in him breaking open. Whether it’d be the annoyance at his mood or his long-standing feelings for the man, he didn’t know.

Joseph sighed, “You know, a while back you said I could talk to you if I needed help,” He paused for a moment, again waiting for Garrett to look at him, “Well, that offer extends to you too.”

At this Garrett’s head snapped round to face him. For a moment he simply sized the other an up, looking for something, a reason and angle to his words, but all he saw in the other’s expression was honesty. He found himself letting loose of the tension in his shoulders and chest. ”It’s nothing, I'm just spending too much time in my own head.”

“So talk it out.” He shuffled closer as if to encourage Garrett to divulge everything. When Garrett said nothing Joseph adopted a different tactic, plucking a buttercup from the ground and twirling it between his fingers, “They say that if you put a buttercup under someone’s chin and their skin glows yellow if they have a secret they’re just dying to tell.”

He couldn’t help the snort of a laugh that escaped him as he slapped Joseph’s hand away for his chin, “No they do that to tell if you like butter and it nonsense! Stop it!”

But Joseph was relentless, even going as far as to snatch one of Garret’s wrists with his free hand to keep him from completely protesting. “Don’t make me call the children over to pin you down”

“Please, I can take you all on.” He could tell from the wicked grin Joseph sported that he’d just seal his fate. Within seconds the three children wear racing towards him and wrapping themselves around him around at the command of their father. Either they wear stronger than he thought or Garrett was unbelievably weak because he was pinned to the grass almost instantly.

“Now, kids,” Joseph spoke, sounding far too smug about his victory. “I believe Garrett here has been keeping secrets from us,” -The twins gasped incredulously- “And this little buttercup is going to tell us if he is. Make sure you get a good look at his chin because if it glows, my suspicions have been correct.”

All three of them peered over Garrett, who still struggled in their grip. If only he could get his legs free but Joseph was using his own weight to keep them down. What a spectacle they must have made to passers-by. “I’ll never surrender!”

“Oh, but we’ve already won.” His Victory declared, Joseph stuck the tiny flower under Garrett’s chin and by the way the kids all gasped for a second time, the sun had hit its petals and it was lighting up his skin. “Now, you must tell us your secret.”

Joseph had to know he wasn’t going to get anything serious out of him whilst the kids were with them so Garrett ran with it. He gave an exaggerated sigh and turned his face away, “Fine. You’ve caught me. I have no choice but to tell you...”

“Tell us!” Christian demanded impatiently.

“I really, really, love butter.”


	5. Chapter 5

 “No, I did that already, it just took me back to Google.”

“Did you type in the same search bar you put Youtube in?”

“.... No.”

“Daaaaaad! Listen go back to YouTube and there’s a separate search bar at the top of the page, use that one.”

There was a pause in conversation as Garrett followed Amanda’s instructions on how to work the accursed website known as YouTube, as she stated there was indeed a separate search bar for him to type in. He held the phone between his shoulder and ear as he typed.

“Why are you doing this again?” She asked trying not to sound too disinterested.

“I need a recipe, a good one. A good one that’s simple enough for me to follow.”  He explained as he scrolled through the results (just choosing a video was proving to be far too complicated) and ignoring the snort of laughter from his daughter. “Do you think vanilla is too... Vanilla?”

“It’s a church fair, Pops, that’s like the most vanilla event there is.”

“Vanilla it is then.”

He thanked Amanda for her help and set about studying his chosen recipe. The church was hosting a charity event this Saturday and of course, Joseph was asked to host the cake stand, he had planned on buying the baked goods given the size of this event but Christie had promptly reminded him of his promise to bake with Garrett again so his hands were tied. Garrett didn’t mind doing the box brownie recipes again but then he thought, why not go all out? Why not bake from scratch? 

Sure, it would be more effort and it would take longer, but that wasn’t so bad when it meant getting to spend those long hours with Joseph and the kids. It wasn’t all that hard to convince Joseph to agree either, Garrett even let himself get carried away by the idea that Joseph agreed because he also wanted more time together and not because Christie had overheard the suggestion and gotten excited about it.

* * *

And so, the next day Garrett turned up on Joseph’s doorstep with bags full of baking supplies. It wasn’t surprising to him when Christie was the one to open the door to him this time as according to Joseph’s texts she hadn’t stopped talking about making the cakes since she woken up that morning. 

“Mr Connolly!” She beamed. “Are those the ingredients? We’re going to make dozens!” 

“No, Christie, we’re going to make Baker’s dozens!” 

“Hurry! Hurry!” She practically flew to towards the kitchen. It was a struggle to keep up with all the bags in his hands. Joseph and Christian were waiting in the kitchen, lining up what looked like all the bowls and utensils Joseph owned. He hefted the bags onto the free space on the counter and wiped his brow. 

“I can’t believe you talked me into this,” Joseph spoke as he moved up next to Garrett and inspected the contents of the closest bag to him.

“No going back now, who knows what the twins will do.” Garrett joked, trying not to shiver when Joseph’s arm fleetingly brushed against his own.

“We’ll get sad and cry,” Christian piped up in a dramatically forlorn tone, prompting both men to turn and face the twins, who were both stood, hand in hand, with their heads bowed and bottom lips pouting. “Right Christie?”

“Right.” She nodded along.

Joseph sighed and nudged Garrett’s side, “No going back.” 

Once the ingredients were all set out and Garrett had run Joseph and the twins through the instructions, making the cake mixture wasn’t as hard as they had originally thought. Though it turned out to be twice as messy, by the time the first batch was piped into the pink and blue cake cases and set in the baking tin, the kitchen was a disaster. Christian and Christie were covered in flour after they had started an impromptu food war. They even got Garrett in the face with it before him and Joseph was able to separate them. Chris had appeared once to get a snack and disappeared again, Joseph explained he didn’t really enjoy the baking part but he’d join them for decorating.

Joseph carefully set the cupcakes in the oven sporting a pair of sky blue oven mitts, decorated with a cherry print. Garrett had to wonder if the man owned anything that wasn’t fitting to his pastel aesthetic. By this point the twins had run off, not wanting to help clean up. When Joseph finally faced Garrett again he couldn’t help but laugh, probably because of the flour. 

“You’re a mess.” He grinned, shaking his head.

“And you’re not?” Garrett retorted and pointed to the large splodge of batter on Joseph’s shirt. “You should invest in an apron.”

“I had one, it uhh..” He replied, suddenly getting sheepish, “I burnt it.” 

“Correction. You’re a disaster.”

This is what friendship feels like, Garrett thought to himself. He hadn’t felt any awkwardness since they began baking together, just neighbours doing neighbourly things together. Baking, helping out with the church events, having food fights with the kids, it didn’t get more (as Amanda would put it) vanilla than this. No contrasting ingredients thrown into the mix, no complex emotions, no messy tangle of feelings getting in the way. This is what they had wanted, right? He was beginning to think he could be okay with just this.

That was until Garrett was broken from his thoughts by Joseph placing a damp cloth to his face. They were so close together, Joseph was right in front of him, inches away.  
“You get lost in thought a lot,” He muttered, “You know that?”

Joseph had mostly been concentrating on the flour he was wiping away but just for a moment their eyes met and it sent Garrett’s head spinning. 

“I’ve noticed.” Garrett breathed. He couldn’t help his eyes drifting down to Joseph’s mouth, his soft lips ever so slightly parted like they were inviting him in. 

Mercifully, Joseph moved away before Garrett could follow through with his want to lean forward and kiss him. He could feel the tips of his ears burning, Joseph had to of noticed something and yet he made no acknowledgement of it that Garrett could see.

“We should clean up, ready for the next batch.” Garrett stammered, wanting to focus on anything other than the speed of his heart.

As the hours passed more cupcakes stacked on the sides of the counters, they even got adventurous and put chocolate chips in two batches and switched out the vanilla for orange in another. It was nearing 6 pm by the time they took the last batch out of the oven and whilst they waited for them to cool enough for decorating the six of them sat down to eat together. Once again they said grace and Garrett had to pretend like holding Joseph’s hand didn’t have the butterflies dancing in his stomach.

Afterwards, Chris did finally join them to decorate the cakes. Garrett thought that while he still wasn’t very talkative, he was coming out of his shell around him. He stayed close to his father’s side but was at least smiling and was curious about how everyone else was decorating their cakes compared to his own abstract designs. Christie favoured the edible glitter and sprinkles the most, whilst Christian attempted to make faces using jelly tots for eyes and icing the mouth. Joseph drew little crosses on his own with the excuse, “Well, it is a church event.” Garrett did attempt a bunny for his first but when all three of the kids said it looked more like a dinosaur, he settled for drawing patterns instead. The only one not decorating was little Crish, who was more than happy getting his custard all over himself and his highchair.

“I wish I did this more with Amanda.” Garrett idled with a sigh as he finished up his last cake.

“Well, she’s all welcome to join in next time she’s home.” Joseph, who was now carefully packing the cakes into boxes, replied.

“I want-” Christian started excitedly, but it was cut short by a lazy yawn, “-Want to bake with Amanda.” He rubbed his tired eyes, helpless to fight off his exhaustion from a day’s hard work.

His father chuckled, abandoning the cakes and lifting the small boy into his arms, “I think it’s someone’s bedtime.” He was too tired to properly protest and simply whined even as he let his head fall upon Joseph’s shoulder. Christie kicked her legs under the table and joined in with the whining, knowing that this meant bedtime for her too.

As Joseph rounded up his small flock of children, Garrett took it as his cue to get ready to leave, began packing away the leftover ingredients into a bag and said goodbye to them with promises to see them tomorrow for the fundraiser.

* * *

“You really don’t have to-” Joseph paused for a moment looking from the pole in his right hand and the instructions in his left. “-Have to help with the setup.” He paused again. He was clueless. “I’ve dragged you into helping enough.”

Garrett almost forgot to reply, he was too amused watching Joseph attempt to put together a popup gazebo. He heaved the fold away table he’d dragged over onto its side and popped out its legs, “If I left you to do this all by yourself, you’ll still be here tomorrow.” 

A weary but good-natured laugh escaped Joseph as he dropped the pole in favour of re-reading the instruction manual. He held it right up to face and squinted so hard his nose wrinkled, “In that case, I’m glad you’re here to save me.”

Joining him on the grassy floor, Garrett took the manual from Joseph and skimmed over the pages. It seemed easy enough. “You need glasses.”

“I have them... Somewhere.” Joseph Shrugged.

Between them, they managed to get the stall ready in time for the fundraiser, they pulled up a couple of chairs for them and the kids and waited for the customers to start flowing in. There were no freebies this time as this event was for charity and there were a lot more people turning up this time, Garrett doubted there’d even be any left over.  
It wasn’t long before the twins started to get bored and wanted to explore. Joseph left Garrett and Chris (who for the most part was playing on a game of some kind) in charge of selling cakes.

It was almost like clockwork how fast two of the women who’d been running the stall next to theirs had come over after Joseph left with the twins and Crish. Garrett still wasn’t on a first name basis with most of the churchgoers but he recognised these ladies as regular attendees and volunteers. They looked over the cakes and tried engaging with Chris asking him which ones he made, but he just huffed at them and turned away in his seat. When it was clear he wanted none of their attention the women turned to Garrett. 

“So, you and Joseph seem to be getting along!” The first woman said.

“It’s so nice he has someone to help him through the divorce.” The second one added.

Garrett smiled politely, though he wasn’t sure how much he should be bringing up the divorce in front of Chris. He could already hear the boy grumbling next to him. “Everybody needs friends.”

“Oh, that they do and it’s done him such good having a friend around.” The first woman agreed, she looked to her friend as if there was something more she wanted to say but couldn’t bring herself to say it.

The second woman nodded and smiled devilishly; picking up on her friend’s cue, “Imagine what more than a friend could do for him.”

Before Garrett had a chance to fully react to the women’s suggestion, Chris let out a loud, extremely annoyed groan. He slammed his game onto the table, causing all three adults to snap around and stare at him. 

“My Dad is fine! He doesn’t need either of you or a friend, he has my mum! She's just sick, she'll be back soon!” He was almost shouting through the strain in his voice, his little cheeks and forehead were red. As quick as the outburst had happened, Chris jumped up and sped away from them.

“Chris!” Garrett was on his feet and chasing after the young boy without a second thought. It was only a church event, but there was so many people here and cars going in and out the car park all day long. The paternal worry set into overdrive as he lost sight of Chris, who’d just turned the corner of the church. 

Garrett heard the heavy church doors shut as he passed the corner and had to hope that Chris had run inside. The function hall was open to the public and running raffles, but here in the main building, it was quiet and deserted. Well almost deserted, Garrett heard the small choked sobs of Chris further into the hall.

He found him curled up on one of the pews towards the middle of the hall, head pressed to his knees. Garrett’s heart sank. “Okay if I sit here?”

Chris nodded his head.

There was a long pause after Garrett sat down, he’d never dealt with divorce before, let alone tried comforting a child about it. He was at a loss for what to say.

“I don’t get why they have to divorce. It’s stupid!” Chris broke the silence, though it was hard to understand him between the sniffling. “I don’t want mum to forget about us.”

“Chris, who told you that would happen?” Garrett asked softly.

“Bobby did, from school. He said that’s what happens to divorced families. He said that mum leaving means she’s going to get a new family and forget about us and that we’re all going to be sad because divorced families can’t be happy.”

Well, Bobby can stuff it, Garrett thought, though he had the sense not to say that. “Bobby doesn’t know what he’s talking about. Chris, did you know Craig got a divorce?” –Chris shook his head- “He and his girls are as happy as they can be and they see their mother all the time. She didn’t forget. I bet if you ask Briar and Hazel about it, they’ll tell you how wrong Bobby is too.”

Garrett watched the small boy screw up his face as he thought hard about what he’d just been told, his eyes watery as he stared forward.  After a moment he looked up to Garrett. “Did you get a divorce? Is that where Amanda’s mum went?”

“I-” His stomach hit the floor. How was he supposed to explain this to Chris? He didn’t even know if he should. He started carefully, “Amanda didn’t have a mum, she had two dads. Me and my husband, Alex and we didn’t divorce.” He sucked in a breath to combat the sudden lump in his throat. “He passed away.”

“Oh... I’m sorry.” Chris chewed his cheek as he thought on this news, Garrett’s heart bled for the little boy. “Then how did you get Amanda with no mum?”

It was almost too much for Garrett to handle, did surrogacy count as a ‘the birds and the bees talk’. He should definitely leave this to Joseph, but then, it had distracted Chris. He was no longer curled up crying. He took another deep breath as he formulated his words carefully. “Well, we had help. One of our friends offered to carry Amanda for us-”

“But she wasn’t her mum?”

“No, she wasn’t. She didn’t need to be because Amanda had us. She carried and gave birth to Amanda for us and then gave her to us.”

Once again Chris thought hard about this new information. Then his face lit up as if he’d come to a revelation, “Like the baby Jesus!”

“What?”

“Mary carried the baby Jesus for God but he wasn’t her baby! Amanda is like the baby Jesus!”

There wasn’t time to answer for they were both distracted by the church door creaking open behind them and Joseph’s figure slipped through. “There you two are.”

Chris scrambled over Garrett to meet his father at the doors; Joseph immediately noticed the blotchiness of his face and lifted him into his arms, concerned. Chris leaned in and whispered something into Joseph’s ear which seemed to baffle him before demanding to be put down and running back outside so he could go back to his game.

Reluctantly, Garrett stood up and Joined Joseph who was still dumbfounded by the door. He could only hope Joseph wouldn’t be upset with whatever his son had just told him. “So, what did he tell you?”

“He said that Amanda is the baby Jesus.”

Garrett snorted, he couldn’t help it, it sounded twice as ridiculous coming out the mouth of a grown man. “I was trying to explain surrogacy to him.”

And then Joseph was laughing too, “I guess I’ll have to clear that one up when I get home, thanks for that.” He held the door open for Garrett and him to exit the hall back outside. It was a relatively comfortable silence as they strolled towards the stalls until Joseph slowed down to a stop (which prompted Garrett to do the same) as he seemed to be thinking about something. “You’re good with kids.” He said pointedly.

“I should hope so. I’ve only been raising one for eighteen years.” 

“Have you ever considered working with them?”

The question caught Garrett off guard. He had, in fact, wanted to at one point in his life but he hadn’t given it any thought in years. Not since Alex had passed away and he had to take the first job he could find. “I mean yeah, but don’t you need training for that sort of thing, I couldn’t afford it on top of putting Amanda through college. Besides, I’m a little old for a career change.”

“You’re not so old.” Joseph said with a wink. Garrett’s heart skipped. “And if you are interested in it, I’m sure could persuade the higher-ups about sponsoring your training. Of course, you’d have to promise to work here afterwards.”

He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Joseph wanted to work with him; he felt he was good enough to work with him. For a moment all Garrett could do was stare at Joseph like an idiot whilst he tried to process this. Would he even be able to keep his cool around the other man for that long? It was easy enough to be in his company whilst they were busy or other people were with them, but there would be times when they would be alone together and Garrett wasn’t sure if he could handle that. Still, he really wanted to say yes. He always pictured himself trying out working in a nursery with younger children, though that was before he had Amanda, teenagers were a lot less scary after raising one.  
He found himself speaking without really thinking, a smile growing on his face as he did so, “I mean, yeah, if it’s possible.”

Joseph beamed at him, “I’ll look into it then.”

They joined the kids back at the cupcake stall, who were being watched by some of the other volunteers. Their baked goods supply was dwindling dangerously low at this point and there was still two hours left at the fundraiser. Garrett wondered if maybe they should have made the box brownies too for back up. But it was too late now they’d just have to make do. Worst comes to worst they pack up the stall early, turn in their share of the funds and walk around the event until it was time to put everything away.

It didn’t seem so bad of an outcome.


	6. Chapter 6

His nerves were getting the best of him again. He sat rigid in the driver seat of his car, eyes staring straight ahead seeing nothing, his chest heavy and his breathing uneven. The paper in his hand crumpled between his stiff fingers. He couldn’t explain it, it had been so long since he’d done this, since it ever even mattered to himself. There was so much pressure on making a good impression.

His phone abandoned on the passenger seat buzzed again. Reluctantly, Garrett forced his limbs to move and retrieve the phone. Another text. Joseph had sent the first one about ten minutes ago now, asking where he was. Oblivious to the fact Garrett had indeed arrived at the church, he just couldn’t get out of the car.

‘Are you getting out the car or no?’

Garrett squinted at the text as he processed what it meant before looking around. Sure enough, his eyes caught sight of a familiar pink polo and focused on Joseph stood by the church doors, who smiled and waved.

“Shit” He muttered. No going back now. The paper in his hand was ruined now, luckily he’d brought a spare and reached into his glove box to grab an identical document and left the car. His legs felt like jelly as he tried his best to appear normal as he approached Joseph. “I, uh, got distracted.”

“I could see that.” Joseph chuckled, but his humoured expression died away as he looked over Garrett. “Are you alright?”

“Of course!” Garrett lied. He could feel himself sweating under the other man’s gaze. Garrett could only hope it wasn’t as noticeable as he felt it was.

Joseph just stared him for a moment, clearly not buying Garrett’s lie for a second, before sighing. “I told you, this is just an informal meeting, just for you and the priest to get to know each other. It’s not an interview.”

Garrett nodded, his jaw fixed closed from the tension in his body.

“Right well, let’s go then.” Joseph conceded and led Garrett inside the church.

The halls of the church never really intimidated him anymore, when Garrett was younger they had a certain effect on him, but he’d been attending services for so long now, he was immune to the chilling atmosphere of them. Or at least he usually was, today, he was a wreck. Every step further into the church was a step closer to him making a fool out of himself. To him being rejected, to him losing the admiration Joseph had for some reason deemed him worthy of.

“Garrett?” Joseph’s hand on his shoulder stopped him in his tracks. The other man’s expression was riddled with worry.

And then he realised, he was hyperventilating, he couldn’t breathe and realising it was only making it worse. This was embarrassing, he was a grown man have a panic attack over the idea of just talking to someone, he hadn’t even met the preacher yet.

Joseph’s hands guided him down on to the seat on the pews. “Garrett look at me, take deep breaths, in through the nose, out through the mouth... That’s it... Just breathe.”  
Minutes past, the only noise in the church was Garrett’s laboured breathing and Joseph’s gentle words. If the priest had heard them, he didn’t come out. Garrett wanted to ball up and disappear but every time he hunched over, Joseph would pull his shoulders and straighten his back again to better help him breathe.

“I’m sorry,” Garrett spoke once his chest wasn’t so tight anymore.

“Don’t be.” Joseph smiled sympathetically. “Listen, we can always reschedule if it’s too much right now.”

Garrett shook his head, his fingers once again pulling at the paper in his hand. It would be ruined before they got to the meeting. “I just need a moment.”

Joseph nodded and sat down next to Garrett in the pews. “Take as long as you need.”

It was strange, having Joseph so close to him usually turned him into a bundle of nerves, but right now, it was comforting. He found himself leaning against the other man as his body began to sag, tired from being so tense moments earlier. He barely even noticed it when Joseph’s arm came around his shoulders.

“So, what’s with the paper,” Joseph asked gently.

Garrett stared down at the creased paper and felt the twisting hit his gut again. “I thought it might help to bring my résumé.”

“May I?” Joseph held his hand out. For a fleeting moment, Garrett felt like protesting, but he didn’t have the energy and he supposed if they were going to be working together, Joseph would see it at some point. So he handed over the paper.

He couldn’t bring himself to gage Joseph reaction as he awkwardly unfolded the résumé with one hand and scanned over it. Garrett just focused on his sweaty palms as his fingers fidgeted against each other for what felt like the longest minute in his lifetime.

Finally, Joseph asked the question. The question everybody who knew him asked when seeing his résumé and Garrett winced. “I thought you went to college? Isn’t that how you met Craig?”

“I did.” Garrett replied his heart sinking, “I, uh, I failed my classes. I didn’t want to go, my mother made me, so I spent most of the time drinking, fooling around and switching majors. I didn’t take my studies seriously until I met Alex. He was so smart and I wanted to impress him and... Well, I wasn’t smart. I was an idiot.”

Joseph folded away the paper and gave Garrett’s shoulder a light squeeze. “You’re too hard on yourself. Grades aren’t everything.”

It was hard for Garrett to believe that when his failures in college had screwed him out of so much. For one his mother resented him for years for wasting her money, she didn’t really forgive him until he gave her a grandchild. Worse still, when he had to find a job after Alex passed, the companies didn’t care about much else than his grades, which lead to his current dead end job. Garrett only shrugged in reply. 

“Hold on.” Joseph said as he stood up, “I’ll be right back.” And he walked off down the pews disappearing through a door.

Garrett slumped back in his seat. This was going swimmingly he thought to himself. Joseph probably thought him an idiot and pathetic now, he wouldn’t be surprised if Joseph had left to tell the priest what a lost cause he was. He’d taken the résumé with him, no doubt, to show the priest. Despite these thoughts swirling around in his head, he yearned to have Joseph back at his side. To feel the comforting weight and warmth of his arm around him again, to have Joseph’s soothing voice telling him it was okay.

It wasn’t long before Joseph returned and strode over to Garrett, offering him a hand to stand up again. “I told them you’re not feeling well. We can do this another time.”

“I’m sorry.” Garrett winced, the shame of the spectacle he’d cause overcoming himself. “I-”

“It’s okay.” Joseph offered him a smile. “Let’s get you some fresh air and ice cream.”

“Ice cream?” Garrett repeated with a puzzled look.

Joseph grinned and gently laid a hand on Garrett’s back and he led him to the doors of the church, “There’s no better cure for feeling down then ice cream!”

It took them near half an hour to find the ice cream parlour Joseph apparently knew the way to and totally didn’t need the help of Google maps. It was the first time Garrett had driven Joseph somewhere and if he was honest he preferred it. Joseph was an easy passenger to get along with, patient, joyful and not a hint of backseat driving. Even as he got the pair of them lost Garrett couldn’t help but laugh at him trying to use his phone apps without the help of Chris. He was almost as hopeless as himself.

The parlour itself was up in the hills, overlooking the coast, along with lots of other tourist type shops and cafes. Maple bay didn’t have a huge tourist population, but it was still a city by the sea, so it still attracted its fair share of attention.

“I’ve never been up this way,” Garrett commented as they took their seats in a little booth by the windows.

“Really?” Joseph looked genuinely surprised by this, “I almost like up here as much as I do in the sea. It’s quiet and the view is,” He paused letting out a calm sigh as he looked out the window and over the ocean. “It’s quite breath taking.”

Garrett never took his eyes off of Joseph, “Yeah, it is.”

Soon enough the waitress came over and asked for their orders, Garrett was about to point out that he hadn’t even seen the menu when Joseph ordered a chocolate sundae supreme and a couple of vanilla shakes. 

“Trust me.” He said, “You’ll want to try this.” 

He wasn’t sure what he expected, but an oval bowl near the size of half the table, stacked with ice creams, syrups, chocolate and bananas was not it. Even the shakes themselves were nearly the same size as their heads in height. Garrett felt like he was about to tackle an entire mountain’s worth of sugary treats and he was so ready for it. He could distantly hear the lecture he was going to get from Craig in the morning. 

Joseph handed him a comically small sized spoon and held out his own like a musketeer waiting to click swords with his comrades, “Ready for this?”

“I was born ready!” Garrett declared, playing along and knocking his spoon against Joseph’s as they dug into their ice cream, looking like a pair of oversized children.


End file.
